A newly graduated educator was asked to address the topic of how to raise children. She gave a speech entitled, “The Ten Commandments for Parents.” After her first child was born, she was invited to speak again on techniques for child rearing, and she called it, “Ten Suggestions for Parents.” After the second child was born, she was invited to speak again, and called it “Ten Helpful Hints for Parents.” After her third child was born, she stopped giving advice. [1]

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 Kedoshim: Giving Advice

Do not put a stumbling block before a blind person.[2]

Rashi, the logician of the Torah, who usually explains the verses of Torah on its most literal level, seems to deviate from his normal course in his comments on the above passage. He states, “In front of one who is blind about the particular matter, do not give advice that is not appropriate for him. Do not say, ‘sell your field and buy yourself a donkey,’ thus manipulating him to your advantage and taking (buy) the field from him.”[3]

STUMBLING BLOCK
A series of questions are in need of being asked:

1) Why doesn’t Rashi translate the words ‘blind person’ literally to mean a blind person and ‘stumbling block’ to mean a stumbling block? Why does Rashi say ‘blind’ about a particular matter and ‘stumbling’ block’ ‘advice that is not appropriate for him.’

2) Why must Rashi give an example of a field and a donkey? The concept is already clearly understood.

3) Why does Rashi add the detail ‘manipulating him to your advantage and taking (buy) the field from him’? If it is bad advice, then it is bad advice. Why add the additional twist?[4]

4) Another point to ponder is the word -’stumbling block’ is mentioned twelve times in the Torah and Prophets. Only here is it spelled without a Vav. Why?[5]

REPETITION
The answer is as follows: whenever the Torah says something and then repeats itself, it must be to add an additional concept, to innovate something not stated earlier. The Torah had already spoken earlier about the opening of a pit in which people can fall and hurt themselves, whereby the perpetrator (owner) is liable for damages.[6] This case of the ‘pit’ implies the prohibition of placing a stumbling block before one who is blind.

What then is Torah innovating here when it states ‘do not put a stumbling block before a blind person’? Rashi, in order to answer this question, innovates that we are dealing with one who gives his neighbor ‘advice that is not appropriate for him.’ In other words, it is not necessarily ‘bad advice’ or ‘sinful advice.’[7] Rather, it is simply inappropriate ‘for him’.

If it is not bad or sinful advice, what makes the advice inappropriate? Rashi continues by saying it is because ‘you manipulate him for your own advantage,’ i.e., it could be that you have given him the right advice to sell his field (because he is a lousy farmer) and buy a donkey (because he is a good peddler), but since you put yourself into the equation, and you were looking out for yourself, it is inappropriate advice.

IMPARTIALITY
Torah teaches us a powerful law: when a person comes to you for advice, you must be impartial. If you are subjective in your advice, even if it is the right advice, it is unethical. You must put yourself in his shoes, and analyze the situation from his vantage point. Only then is the advice kosher.[8]

The above answer also sheds light on why is without a Vav. The letter Vav means and looks like a hook that connects one object to another[9] By omitting the Vav, Torah hints that only when one is not connected to the property of another and remains impartial, can one give advice.

A DEEPER APPROACH
How is it possible to give inappropriate advice in the first place? Didn’t the Torah itself command us to ‘love your fellow man’?[10] Because the Vav is missing, i.e., because there lacks a concern for and connection with your fellow man. This is the reason why one can give inappropriate advice.

When one helps another altruistically, one brings down the missing Vav into ‘love your fellow man as yourself’.’ The word -as yourself has a Vav,[11] for the Vav is now realized.

The Holy Temple was destroyed because of the lack of brotherly love. By reconnecting with each other, one brings about the restoration of the Third Holy Temple.[12]

STORY
My grandfather, Rabbi Jacob J. Hecht OBM, would ask the Rebbe for advice on everything he did. Once, the Rebbe asked him, Why do you ask me so many questions? Just go and do it. He responded, ‘I’d rather ask one thousand dumb questions than make one smart mistake.’

ACTION: Connect with another. Give charity to the poor, visit the sick, and give appropriate advice when asked.

FOOTNOTES
[1] Joke from Say It With a Story, by Susha Alperowitz.
[2] Leviticus 19:16.
[3] See Rashi’s commentary on the above passage.
[4] Above questions found in Likutei Sichos Vol. 27, Kedoshim, pp. 141-143.
[5] Baal Haturim and the Torah Reader’s Compendium on this passage.
[6] Exodus 21:33-34.
[7] The Torah already prohibited sinful advice in the story of the Garden of Eden, when the snake tricked Chava (Eve) into eating the forbidden fruit and was punished for his misdeeds. (Genesis 3:1-15)
[8] Likutei Sichos, Ibid. pp. 144+.
[9] See Letters of Light, chapter on Vav.
[10] Leviticus 14:18.
[11] Ibid.
[12] See Tractate Yoma 9B and Sefer HaSichos 5751, p. 254.