Betty, the town gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the town’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business.

Most local residents were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. However, she made a mistake one afternoon when she accused Ted, a local man, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town’s only bar.

Ted, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and walked away. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.

* * *

Tazria: First Haircut

 This portion of Tzaria describes the infliction of tzara’as (not to be confused with psoriasis) when the skin turns stark white because one has spoken lashon hara, slander or gossip. The Torah tells us that we must not tamper with the signs of the tzara’as, or cut them off. As it states, “He shall shave–v’hisgalach –(the hairs around the nesek); however, he should not shave the nesek.” [1]

A few questions come to mind:

1.) Why is there a large Gimmel in the word ‘shave’? 2.) What is a “nesek” and why shouldn’t it be shaved? 3.) The portion of Tazria falls out during a period of weeks called “the counting of the Omer”. In the First Century, during this season, a plague killed 24,000 students of the great Rabbi Akiva. During the Omer period we commemorate these deaths by assuming a partial state mourning–we don’t take haircuts. Why then does the Torah tell us at this time, “V’hisgalach — ‘shave’?

GIMMEL

First let us delve into the meanings of the letter Gimmel.

Graphic design: The Talmud says the shape of the letter Gimmel looks like a person–a benefactor running to give charity.[2] According to Kabbalah, Gimmel is made of a Vav and a Yud. The Vav symbolizes the desire of a teacher to bring a higher wisdom down to the level of their student or child. The Yud is the bite-sized lesson that the teacher is communicating.

Gematria: Gimmel = 3
Meaning: The word gimmel can mean ‘kindness’ or ‘camel’.

UPSHERENISH
The portion of Tazria begins by discussing the birth of a child. We can view our verse as continuing that theme. Therefore, the large Gimmel–the number 3—in the word “he shall shave” brings to mind the custom of giving a three-year-old boy his first hair-cut.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe, in his book Hayom Yom,[3] says, “It is a Jewish custom not to shave or cut a boy’s hair until his third birthday. The first haircutting, or upsherenish of a baby boy is a Jewish custom of great importance.[4] The essence of the custom is the educational act of leaving uncut the peyos (side-locks). From the day of the haircutting and leaving the peyos it is the custom to take particular care in accustoming the little boy to wear a tallis katan (tzitzis), to recite the early-morning blessings, the Grace after Meals, and the Bedtime Shema.”

This custom hints to the graphic design, the gematria and the meaning of the letter Gimmel:

Graphic design: We teach the little boy to run to do mitzvos. Also, we prepare to teach him the Torah, specifically through bite-sized lessons that a three-year-old can grasp.

Gematria: Normally, at the age of three we cut the boy’s hair. However, if his birthday is during the counting of the Omer, “he should not shave”–we postpone the haircutting until the 33rd day of this period, called Lag b’Omer. This is the day the students of Rabbi Akivah stopped dying from the plague.

Meaning: The Jewish custom is to teach the child to acknowledge G-d’s kindness: we begin teaching him various blessings and recitations. We also place upon him his first pair of tzitzis, which will remind him of the 613 Divine Commandments.[5] In this way we begin to strengthen the child by introducing him to the spiritual work-load he will carry throughout his life. He becomes like a camel, who is capable of carrying a full load over great distances.

THE KABBALAH OF BALANCE
The Midrash relates how Avraham Avinu recognized his Creator at the age of three. In the agricultural laws of orlah we learn that until a fruit tree is three years old, we must not cut fruit and eat from it. From these sources we learn that the age of three marks a spiritual and physical transition for a child. It’s appropriate to mark this moment by cutting his hair and teaching him about his Creator.

Kabbalistic sources state that the number ’3′ (Gimmel) represents the world of tikkun, refinement. A platform with two legs is unstable, but a third leg introduces a level of stability and balance. During the “terrible twos”, children are often somewhat chaotic. Their long, growing hair can sometimes become wild. At the age of three, however, we cut their hair neatly and begin to teach them, providing them with the structure and stability of laws of living and values of the Torah.

GIRLS’ TRANSITION
Similarly, Rivka, our matriarch, began lighting Shabbos candles at the age of three. This teaches us that at the age of three–or even earlier, if they have already begun to speak–girls experience a spiritual transition. Therefore they begin lighting Shabbos and Holy Day candles. Jewish daughters have been endowed by G-d with the privilege and mission of lighting up the world. The candles of young girls, like those of their mother, brighten their homes, and when they recite the blessings, they too bring spiritual light into the entire world.

THE POWER OF CUSTOMS
Upsherenish is only a custom, not a Biblical commandment. Yet it’s often customs that evoke the most joy and spiritual power. This is because Jewish customs, which are above and beyond legal motivation, bring the most joy to G-d.

Simchas Torah, the day we dance with the Torah at the culmination of the High Holy Days, is one of the most joyous times of the whole year. This day is even more joyous than the preceding Holy Days of Sukkos, whose celebration is an explicit commandment in the Torah. Yet Simchas Torah is not mentioned in the Torah at all. It is ‘only’ a custom. There are many such examples. Why are customs so powerful?

This can be understood through the following parable. A king has a servant. When he commands his servant to serve him, and the servant complies, the king is happy. When the king merely hints at what he needs, and the servant rushes to comply, the king is even happier. When the servant does the will of his king from his own initiative and loving loyalty, the king’s joy is boundless. When we observe Jewish customs we bring the boundless joy to the King of Kings.

‘HE SHOULD NOT SHAVE THE NESEK‘
The mourning period of the Omer, during which we don’t shave or cut our hair, alludes to “He should not shave the ‘nesek‘.” The word nesek has a numerical value of 550, which is twice the value of ra’ah ‘evil’, (275). The students of Rabbi Akiva died because of “an evil eye and an evil tongue”,[6] i.e., they looked down on one another, and they spoke disparaging of one another. The thirty-third day of the counting of the Omer marks the end of this chaotic period.[7] Having made a transition into a place of deeper spiritual balance, we can move away from the ‘nesek‘ issue and cut our hair.

In the merit of upholding the customs of upsherenish, candle-lighting, and educating our children, may we transform all mourning into the boundless joy of ‘Gimmel’: the Ge’ulah (Redemption). Then, the Third Holy Temple will descend from Heaven and G-d will educate each one of us directly. The prophet Jeremiah states: “A person will no longer teach his fellow, or his brother, saying, ‘Know G-d’–for everyone will know Me, from small to great…”[8]

A STORY
A young woman in the Israeli army once wrote to the Lubavitcher Rebbe. She was surprised to receive an answer, and so she continued to correspond with him. When she met a man she wanted to marry, she wrote to ask for the Rebbe’s guidance and blessing. The Rebbe answered: “A table needs at least three legs to stand on. Four is better, but the minimum is three. A home stands on three mitzvos: keeping Shabbos, eating kosher, and observing mikvah–family purity. If this man agrees to follow these three mitzvos, marry him and you have my blessings. When the time comes, you will add the fourth leg.”

The woman married and gave birth to two children. Unfortunately one child suffered from leukemia, and the other from another serious disease. At this point, the Rebbe’s soul had already ascended on High, and the woman didn’t know where to turn, or what to do. Luckily, she met Rabbi Mendel Gluckowski, Chief Rabbi of Rechovot, Israel, who advised her to write another letter to the Rebbe. He asked her to place her letter at random into a volume of the Rebbe’s collected correspondences. She opened the book where she had placed her letter, to a page where the Rebbe was discussing the importance of Jewish education. She thought, “This must be a mistake. This page doesn’t address my questions,” and she tried another volume. She opened to a page where the Rebbe was advising someone to send their child to a Lubavitch school. “I must not be doing this right,” she sighed, “this doesn’t have anything to do with my kids’ health problems.” She tried another volume. The Rebbe was encouraging someone to support a yeshivah.

Finally the woman’s face lit up. “That’s true. My kids may be very sick, but that doesn’t mean they can’t study Torah.” She immediately enrolled them in a yeshivah program. The next day, when she took her children for their medical tests, there was no trace of disease to be found in either of them. “This must be the fourth leg!” she declared.

ACTION: Review the laws of family purity with your spouse. If you don’t already use the mikvah, begin now.

FOOTNOTES
[1] Leviticus, 13:33. Also see Rashi’s commentary.
[2] Shabbos, 104a
[3] Entry of 4th of Iyar
[4] Gimmel also represents the word gadol, ‘great’.
[5] The word tzitzis has a numerical value of 600. Each tzitzis consists of 8 strings and 5 knots. 600 + 8 + 5 = 613.
[6] Jerusalem Talmud, Sanhedrin, Ch. 1, Law 2. See also Likutei Sichos, Vol. 32, p. 151, f22.
[7] Verse 33, which says, “he shall shave,” thus alludes to the 33rd day of the counting of the Omer.
[8] Jeremiah, 31:33. See also Tanya, Chapter 42.